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Envy
Jay #4
Tuesday, March 31 | 7:15 PM
21 Mar episode
The economy is in bad shape! It is in bad shape!Isaw a woman living in Beverly Hills cleaning a house she actually owns! The economy is so bad that I went to a wine tasting event and after you've tasted the wine, you have to spit it into the glass of the guy sitting next to you! I saw two kids in Beverly Hills having a face-to-face conversation because they can't afford to text message! That's how bad it is! The economy is so bad that Hollywood celebrities are skipping rehab, going straight into relapse.
I was waiting at the car wash when these guys came across with some strange hi-tech tools and stuck it into a manpower just a few metres away from where I sat.
The first thought that came to my mind was, "Oh, that's a mighty mosquito power blaster!" If you don't realise this by now, I hate mosquitoes.
Actually, I was close. That cool tool helps these workers spot chokes in the sewers and of course, mozzie breeding grounds. Way to go!
The streets were quiet this evening, at least where I was at Novena Square on a Saturday night. By the way, the authorities there should switch off the flood lights at the makeshift outdoor basketball court during Earth Hour. Yeah, the lights at home were off because I was out! I kept my oath to the Earth!
I was shocked to learn that Michael was booted out of American Idol and that Matt received the second lowest votes! Seriously, Scott should go. He's getting so predictable and boring. Most of all, he did not sing as well as the rest! I really hope it is not based on sympathy votes that he's still in the game. Anyway, my votes are still with Matt, Danny and eh, what's his name? No, I'm not referring to gothic Adam.
No matter how patient I try to be with kids and parents, I lost it this week with an unreasonable father. Accused of something I did not even do, I smiled when another kid told me to chill because the parent is "like that one".
I have not met the cute neighbour for awhile. I hope she has not moved away.
A friend who runs an online toy rental business appeared on CNN! How cool is that?! Hey! Is this publicity? I should charge her for mentioning this.
I watched The King Of Scotland on Star Movies today. I miss Africa. The Pathseeker was awesome too. On that note, I think I might be back on the path again after "hearing" some stuff from the man upstairs.
After spraining my big toe while playing hand ball with a class during PE this week, I instinctively kicked a soccer ball with the same foot back to a group of boys playing near my place. ##@%&@!
You may have to look creatively with me for this one.
This is a plant I bought from Ikea about a month ago. I was first attracted to the roots. They immediately reminded me of the hands of a mother stradling her child and probably crooning a lullaby or breastfeeding the kid.
The vertical root would be part of the mother's hand wrapped around the neck of the child whose head is on the right and resting on her bosom.
Still don't get it? Try the next perspective.
On a darker note, the above could also show a person using his hands to strangle another. :)
So from this view where I am standing, the body rests 6 feet under, having rebirthed into this luscious green.
It'sEarth Hour today! 830-930pm local time. Don't forget not to touch that dial! Simply just keep your hands off any remote during that hour!
These are my favourite funny lines from Jay on today's catchup on a past episode...
3 Mar 2009
President Bush is saying that he's leaving Washington with his head held high because it's the best way to spot shoes coming at you.
Osama Bin Laden has released a new tape where he displayed a shortness of breath and experts say it raises questions about his health. See that's how you know that this war is going on too long okay - our enemies start dying of natural causes - they're just dropping DEAD from OLD AGE!
In a landmark scientific breakthrough - this is pretty amazing, researchers at Duke University - I don't understand how this works. We should be asking our expert physicists. They are close to inventing a cloak of invisibility. It can bend light waves and make you invisible. They say it's like being an actress over 40 in Los Angeles. You will NOT BE SEEN! Amazing!
China is builidng a new Disneyland. Over there, Pluto will be both Mickey's dog and an item on the menu.
Make it your decision not to Facebook, chat, DOTA and whatever you do online. Switch off all electric appliances, yes - even that air-conditioner. Hide all remote controls within easy reach, lest you be tempted. The truth is, you will not perish without your XBox, PS3, Wii for just one hour. If you have to snack, do it before or after this hour. Opening the fridge door burns zaps up precious electric energy (note - you do not switch off the refridgerator - you do know this right?). Go to sleep or just look out your balcony and enjoy the quiet and darkness. If you see a light switched on and feel very burdened by that inconsiderate neighbour, put on some clothes (I assume some of us will be perspiring profusely at this moment?) and walk up to their apartment and give them a good lecture on Earth Hour. Besides, walking helps cut down your calories!
For more information, check out the official site of Earth hour.
Hooper, a former student, invited me to his Officer Cadet School Passing Out Parade last weekend. It was one of those moments in life you feel like a proud parent.
Sharon, Shaun and myself waiting for 5.41pm - the exact time when the soldiers will march out onto the parade square. Hey! We're the 3 S-es!
I could've been there many years ago. This was one trip down memory lane.
The wow-moment when the troups marched into the stairways scattered among the audience.
The only group shot we have with the iconic SAFTI Tower in the backdrop. Someone insisted that it has to be in the picture.
Out of the blue, 2 rainbows appeared basking in the orangey evening sky. I believe this was seen all over the island and on local pictures on the internet.
The pictures are courtesy of Sharon's Facebook account.
The Major of Mexico City has been giving out free Viagra. That is going to make it harder for guys to crawl under the fence.
Airports around the country now are switching from metal detectors to high-tech scanning machines that show a naked image of your body and this is raising a lot of privacy issue concern among people, especially women. The good news? The airport security guys are now paying attention 100%. They are actually double checking some people just to make sure. See I don't like those scanners. See, I am not comfortable. You know like the last time when I went through one, they were accusing me of hiding a piped bomb. It was just such a huge, huge problem. It was awkward.
28 Feb 2009 episode
You sound happy when he found out that Joe Biden and Hilary Clinton both pay their taxes. I think Barack Obama is a genius! I think this is part of the plan. Heaven knows when Barack Obama nominates someone, the first thing they do, is pay their taxes! He's found a way to pay off the deficit - nominate everyone in the country ONE AT A TIME until they pay off their taxes. And as you know Tom Daschle withdrew his name to be with the Obama cabinet, due to IRS problems. He says, "I will not be a distraction" See distraction is washing and talk for "Oh Oh, there are a lot of crap about me that you don't know about yet. Wasn't it just months ago that these people were making fun of Joe The Plumber for not paying their taxes? And Dasheld says his problem with the IRS were "unintentional". Of course they WERE unintentional! He NEVER INTENDED TO GET CAUGHT! See, to the Democrats, apparently, I guess they think IRS is I'm Really Sorry.
And the woman here in California that just had the eight kids and six more at home? Well, today, Tom Daschle proposed to her. He's NOT in love. He just NEEDS the DEDUCTION! PLEASE MARRY ME!
Here's my favourite part. The White House released a statement saying that the reasons their nominess are having trouble is that the new White House has set the bar very high. See, that shows you what's wrong with politics in this country. That's what the government considers setting the bar very high - HAVING TO PAY TAXES LIKE EVERYONE IN AMERICA! We can't be expected to do that?!
And the US Postal Service may cut service from 6 days to 5 days a week. They say they are losing money because people aren't using postal services like they used to. If you like to complain, you can EMAIL them to US postal service DOT com.
Why this is pretty very high-tech today. Google released free software that enables people to keep track of each other using their cellphones. Using this technology, you can tell where your spouse is at all times. Yeah... HOWEVER, it doesn't work with the iPhone. Today, every married guy in America went out and got it.
Amazingly last night, on an interview on British televion, Paris Hilton says she isn't very stupid. It's JUST the character that she plays. And amazingly, she has not broken character SINCE 1989.
Finally, a new study says watching too much TV can cause erectile dysfunction. HEY GUYS! STOP watching THE VIEW okay? That's YOUR problem!
"The Yellow Ribbon Project seeks to engage the community in giving ex-offenders a second chance at life and to inspire a ripple effect of concerted community action to support ex-offenders and their families."
The contestants of American Idol who claim to be such pals with each other must be very secure within themselves in their own abilities. Afterall, they all desire the coveted AI title and being in the music industry, pretense and lies are usually the order of the day to get to the top.
Although I'm glad that Anoop made that spectacular comeback, at this point, the competition is really between Danny, Kris and Matt.
Sylar must be so messed up now that he is searching for his dad. He had also saved the other kid (I forgot his name) despite not abandoning him to the authorities just earlier and not killing him like he did to others. I also like what Hiro mentioned in the current episode of Heroes on Starworld, ch. 18 - that you do not need super powers to be a hero.
So everyone yearns to be extraordinary. Perhaps in time to come, the ones being hunted down or targeted in society would be the ordinary folks left behind?
The following was found posted very low on a friend's refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed.
I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!
If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door.
I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough.
Please don't complain about my pets ...
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"-niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Too bad about Manchester United's recent epic defeat to Liverpool. *expletive deleted*
Oh if I were a teenager all over again! Or if I have a teenage son, I'll definitely sign him up for this.
11 Mar 2009
Singapore sports
Man United eye S’pore hub
Premiership giants view expansion of football school to rest of the region
Tan Yo -Hinn
yohinn@mediacorp.com.sg
WITH academies in the United States, Portugal, the United Arab Emirates, South Africa and Australia, the Manchester United Soccer School (MUSS) are looking to make Singapore their regional base, with an eye on reaching out to the rest of this region.
“We’re trying to create greater awareness of United’s brand of football in the region,” said Ian Gerard de Souza, Kirkwall Pte Ltd’s sports division head. “We have plans to organise MUSS camps here and in Kuala Lumpur in June, and in Jakarta in later this year.”
Kirkwall, a locally-based investment holding company, secured the rights late last year to
run the MUSS in South-east Asia for the next two years.
They helped organise the first MUSS camp here in December last year, and are currently in
talks with the Singapore Sports Council and Economic Development Board to help set up their
regional base here.
“We’re looking for a place with a full-sized astroturf to facilitate our activities, which also
includes community outreach programmes for under-privileged children,” said de Souza, 43.
About 10,000 square feet in floor space, and $2 million is required to get the MUSS — open
to players from ages seven to 18 — up and running.
De Souza said: “The economic situation has set our plans back a few months. Hopefully, it
will be ready by the third quarter this year.”
De Souza was speaking at a clinic at Anglo-Chinese Junior College yesterday, where about
25 students underwent a twohour session conducted by MUSS Singapore head coach Robin van
der Laan, 40.
Next week, the Dutchman will conduct the second MUSS camp at SAFRA Tampines. The
training will be based on the Manchester United Academy Programme used by manager Alex
Ferguson to groom players like Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes.
“The emphasis is on skill and individual player development, on dominating one-on-one situations,” said van der Laan. “We try to create players who are comfortable on the ball, can work a skill to create space, and can play anywhere on the field.”
Fellow MUSS coaches Lee Merrick, Wayne Watkins and Tony Byrne, as well as local players
such as S Subramani and Aide Iskandar, will also be present. The fee for the course (March
16-20) is $525, but de Souza said: “Here, you get trained by coaches specially flown in from United.”
No, that belongs to a crazy friend of mine who changes car, just to borrow the local expression, like one changes underwear.
I just realised this after uploading the picture. His car plate number and the lot number - they both feature the numbers "4". Yes, my ride is the blue van with the common "3" on the plate and lot! Seriously, we did not plan this. I did not even realise that I had parked beside his new car until I met the group in the KIA showroom.
Just a little story about the van. My kids always ask me why I do not change my van and buy a car instead 0 primarily because "the chicks don't dig vans". After thanking them politely for their concern over my generations and usually with a friendly smack over their heads or backs, I'll tell them some of the following reasons :
- I'm not exactly a car person (although I'm a little smitten by the Kia Cerato Forte)
- I like the bootilicious space behind where I can put my bike/bulky stuff which I may bring from place to place and to the kids, YOU who often hitchhike for free rides in groups.
- it's the closest thing to a SUV or 4WD I get to manoevre and which I do not wish to splurge on at this point.
- the only con : I cannot drive into Malaysia on a G-plate. I can live with that.
Back to the new ride. It is also a FREAKING convertible! How insane is that??!!!
I almost did not participate in this week's photohunt.
This is so predictable I know.
Some traditional Chinese would find it hard to believe that I would choose this unit number for my pad. Yes, I do live in that apartment. And yes, I'm Chinese.
This is what inspired my involvement - the foursome Looney Tunes figures on the tissue box which has been on my work desk for ages.
Incidentally, Sprite has four individual brown patches on her body.
I just remembered - the number 4 had been my class index number in secondary school for years. Incidentally, I'm born on America's Independent's Day - yes it has something to do with the numeral "4".
Is this getting bizarre? I'm just getting warmed up...
Read this and tell me if you are not annoyed by Pet Station's indecent proposal.
13 Mar 2009
PET SHOP giveaway
‘Small, puny, but still a pet’
Public outcry over hamster promotion leads to its halt
Loh Chee Kong
cheekong@mediacorp.com.sg
SPEND $35 at a pet shop and you can take a hamster home for
free. If you hold a PAssion Card — a membership card for grassroots leaders — you only need to spend $25.
This joint promotion between Pets’ Station and the People’s Association (PA) sparked a public outcry yesterday after a flyer was sent out by email to PAssion Card holders.
And in a truimph of civic action, the promotion — due to take place next week at Tiong Bahru Plaza where Pets’ Station has an outlet — was stopped even before it could begin. This was after the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) and the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority of Singapore (AVA) acted on the complaints.
Readers who wrote to Today were particularly disappointed that a Government agency had endorsed the promotion, including Mr William Fong who was “appalled” when he learnt of it through an online forum. He said: “Pets should never be meant as gifts or presents because having a pet is a lifetime responsibility and commitment.”
Another reader, Dr Tan Chek Wee said he was “deeply shocked and saddened”. Online forum posts described the promotion as “ridiculous”. Said one: “A hamster is very small and puny but it’s still a pet, and should be treated as one ... not like a free gift.”
SPCA executive officer Deirdre Moss told Today the society had received more than 20 email voicing strong objections to the promotion. Besides contacting the AVA, which was “already onto it”, SPCA wrote to the PA to “strongly object to such a practice” and stressed that “pets are living things which shouldn’t be exploited as free gifts for promotional purposes”, said Ms Moss.
Mr Madhavan Kannan, who heads AVA’s centre for animal welfare and control, said the authority had contacted Pets’ Station and “instructed them not to proceed with the promotion”. The pet shop complied.
Reiterating that the AVA bans the sale or gift of animals at exhibitions, Mr Madhavan said this is to prevent impulse buying and subsequent abandonment of pets.
When contacted, Pets’ Station declined to comment as its spokesperson was “unavailable”. On its part, the PA apologised for its “oversight”. A PA spokesperson told Today: “When alerted on the concerns raised on Thursday morning, we immediately withdrew the PAssion Card from this promotion, before it could take effect. (We) share the views that pets like hamsters should be cared for by people who are genuinely interested in them.”
Still, Ms Moss gave full marks to the civic action which “resulted in almost instant action by the authorities”. She said: “I was quite stunned and amazed that so many people are speaking up for animals. We are very encouraged that there was so much awareness over
Last Sunday, I revived my semi-DSL camera from its hibernation to snap some pictures of Noise on the Bay held at the Esplanade Outdoor Theatre.
The concert features under bands under the age of 35 singing originals and covers. They were identified by the organisers as being promising artists who are also mentored by existing veterans of the local music industry. Some of the bands are really good. A supporter of local music, I bought an EP from one of the bands, The Lion Story. It was then that I discovered that there were other CDs given out free by some bands and there was even a compilation of the compositions by artists involved in Noise Singapore.
Given the dim lighting, my camera is not that powerful that I can take pictures without flash at night. In fact, I could not go too near the stage as I had brought Sprite along for the occasion. Well, of course, she had a lot of admirers. One security personnel stopped camera folks like me from using flashes. Thus the pictures taking without flash are not sharp. But the one above, not done on purpose, turned out quite decent. At least I think it is.
I thought my knees would go weak only at the sight of the opposite gender and CD/DVDs in a Grammaphone outlet.
This happened awhile back when I was at Petmart to buy some basic necessities for Sprite at a much lower price than many pet shops around.
I cannot believe that they even sell muzzles for small dogs like a Jack Russell??? That is against the law of nature! I am referring to muzzelling any animal for that matter. As long as owners do their bit to train and socialise their pets, there is seriously no need to subject man's best friend to that humiliation.
Speaking of basic necessities - I guess I got a little carried away. By the way, the 15kg dry pack and her new bed are not in the picture.
She was already sleeping on her new bed even before I had removed the plastic wrap. Although it looks a little too queenly for her size, now she actually almost touches both ends lengthwise when she spreads herself spread-eagle style across. The guitar is mine.
Have you heard the Noise? The youth in Singapore definitely have, with nearly 2,000 young artists submitting 11,000 works of music, photography, art and design during Noise Singapore’s call for submission, making it a record year for Singapore’s foremost youth platform for the arts. Kicking off in August ‘08 with Noise Begins Transmission at the Suntec City Mall Galleria, Noise Singapore steadily built up to a roar and will culminate in a showcase officially launched on 5 March 2009 at Far East Plaza by Guest-Of-Honour RAdm(NS) Lui Tuck Yew (Senior Minister of State for Information, Communications & the Arts and Education).
Featuring some of the most creative up-and-coming young artists, designers, musicians and photographers Singapore has to offer, the showcase will be innovatively presented in the form of a retail concept store, with stunning artworks and enrapturing music performances woven into the shopping experience. All these will also be accompanied by an electrifying concert at the Esplanade (6-8 March) and another series of Noise’s highly successful workshops on design, photography and music.
Date: 6 - 29 March 2009 Time: 11am – 8pm (Sun – Thur) 11am – 9pm (Fri – Sat) Where: Far East Plaza Level One Admission: FREE
"This looks edible."
The following was found posted very low on a friend's refrigerator door.
Back to the new ride. It is also a FREAKING convertible! How insane is that??!!!
Given the dim lighting, my camera is not that powerful that I can take pictures without flash at night. In fact, I could not go too near the stage as I had brought Sprite along for the occasion. Well, of course, she had a lot of admirers. One security personnel stopped camera folks like me from using flashes. Thus the pictures taking without flash are not sharp. But the one above, not done on purpose, turned out quite decent. At least I think it is. 
I cannot believe that they even sell muzzles for small dogs like a Jack Russell??? That is against the law of nature! I am referring to muzzelling any animal for that matter. As long as owners do their bit to train and socialise their pets, there is seriously no need to subject man's best friend to that humiliation. 
Speaking of basic necessities - I guess I got a little carried away. By the way, the 15kg dry pack and her new bed are not in the picture.
